"Isaac, don't X your little brother!"

There are so many ways to fill in that X.  Each one reminds me just how much I sound like a parent when I say them.  In fact, there are few things that sound more parent-y than that phrase.  But over time I have noticed a sort of taxonomy of "Isaac don't...." phrases.  Here is what we have so far.

Put phrases

As in "Isaac don't put that booger on your little brother."  There are a lot of "put" phrases.  These tend to come up when Isaac is trying to see what he can get away with both with Ethan and with us.  It's not out right hostility, more like ornery curiosity.  Other real life examples include:

"Bug"

"Noodle"

"Popsicle" (from last night, the phrase that inspired this post)

"Worm"

"Sand" 

"Dirt"

Physical phrases

These are probably the most common, especially now that Ethan is walking.  There are an abundance of these phrases.  The one we say probably five or six times a day is "Isaac don't grab your little brother."  Sometimes it is a wrestling-type grab.  Sometimes it is a hug-type grab.  Other times it is a fighting-type grab.  But there are other things that fill in this phrase other than grab.

"Punch"

"Kick"

"Headbutt"

"Lick"

"Fart on"

You get the idea.  Lots and lots of stuff goes here when you are using Mad Libs to determine how to verbally discipline your kid.

Taunt or language phrases

Now that Ethan is starting to understand language, we are getting a few more of these.  Just two months ago Ethan would have looked at Isaac and just squealed.  Now we get some real reactions.  "Isaac, don't tease your little brother" is a common and almost universally true statement, regardless of time of day.  If they are both away and near each other, you could say this and be right in doing so approximately 99.87% of the time.  Other common taunt and language phrases:

"Startle"

"Tease"

"Yell"

"Make fun of"

Deep down inside, I think these are interesting because they show just how much language little Beethan understands.  I don't like when these need to be used, but from a linguistic perspective they are fascinating.

Show phrases

Ah, the true beating heart of the brotherly relationship--learning moments.  It started with "Isaac don't show your little brother how to pick his nose" and it has blossomed into its own category of things.

"Throw food"

"Stick out your tongue"

"Fart at the dinner table"

"Throw things at mommy"

"Throw things at daddy"

If Isaac does it, Ethan wants to try it too, hence the myriad of things we have to warn Isaac not to do in front of Ethan.

Boy do I feel like a parent just writing these things.