Case Study #112: Boys and Girls at a Birthday Party
As a Public Defender, a philosophy student, and the husband to an amazing woman working in a predominantly male field I feel like I have all sorts of good reasons to doubt gender stereotypes. But this past weekend at a birthday party for one of Isaac's friends, so many of those stereotypes smacked me in the face to the point that I took them as performative proof.
There is no way around it, regardless of its genesis (nature or nuture), boys and girls are different. It was a birthday party at a dance place that brought it home.
First, when the dance music was blaring, the girls got in line and danced in rhythm and with coordination. The boys meanwhile danced like the Wizard of Oz Tin Man having a seizure. And they did it in slow motion, all the while looking around at each other. Sure there are the random Patrick Swayzes and Mikhail Baryshnikovs, but the vast majority of males are clumsy oafs on the dance floor--Shrek minus the green sink.
Second, there were the outfits. There were lots and lots of tutus and more than a few elaborate hairdos for the girls. The boys had a uniform--tee shirts with either jeans or workout/sweatpants. I know it will change and become more formal, but the dress differences were striking. And yes I know that the parents have a lot to do with it, but when I saw the 8th Star Wars shirt out of 9 boys, I realized that yeah, maybe, there is something to this inherent difference thing. Also, there is something to this inherent love of Star Wars thing, too.
Third, and finally, after the music stopped, Isaac and the rest of the boys picked up the balloons and proceeded to beat each other senseless with the balloons, wielding them like boxing gloves. In the meantime, in a nice corner of the studio, the girls watched patient as the birthday girl opened her presents. There was no bashing or screaming, no yelling or running. Just patient, thoughtful observation. There is a reason why, on one hand, Jane Goodall was a great primatologist living and observing apes in the wild, while boys, left on their own in the jungle, went became savages in Lord of the Flies.
I am not making any claims about the sources or meaning of these differences but it is pretty hard to avoid them.
There is no way around it, regardless of its genesis (nature or nuture), boys and girls are different. It was a birthday party at a dance place that brought it home.
First, when the dance music was blaring, the girls got in line and danced in rhythm and with coordination. The boys meanwhile danced like the Wizard of Oz Tin Man having a seizure. And they did it in slow motion, all the while looking around at each other. Sure there are the random Patrick Swayzes and Mikhail Baryshnikovs, but the vast majority of males are clumsy oafs on the dance floor--Shrek minus the green sink.
Second, there were the outfits. There were lots and lots of tutus and more than a few elaborate hairdos for the girls. The boys had a uniform--tee shirts with either jeans or workout/sweatpants. I know it will change and become more formal, but the dress differences were striking. And yes I know that the parents have a lot to do with it, but when I saw the 8th Star Wars shirt out of 9 boys, I realized that yeah, maybe, there is something to this inherent difference thing. Also, there is something to this inherent love of Star Wars thing, too.
Third, and finally, after the music stopped, Isaac and the rest of the boys picked up the balloons and proceeded to beat each other senseless with the balloons, wielding them like boxing gloves. In the meantime, in a nice corner of the studio, the girls watched patient as the birthday girl opened her presents. There was no bashing or screaming, no yelling or running. Just patient, thoughtful observation. There is a reason why, on one hand, Jane Goodall was a great primatologist living and observing apes in the wild, while boys, left on their own in the jungle, went became savages in Lord of the Flies.
I am not making any claims about the sources or meaning of these differences but it is pretty hard to avoid them.